Another Epic Fail

Here is something that sucks about being an allergy mom- 9 times out of 10 your kids will have a reaction because of something you did.  You didn't mean to do it- in fact you probably worked very hard to avoid a reaction.  But the odds are simply not in your favour and you are just screwed.  Allergy moms like to be in control and prepare almost everything by hand, so likely some cross contamination or milk challenge reason cause the reaction, but since it came out of your hands you feel so responsible... And terribly guilty.

Allergy moms (and dads ;) ) also have the terrible task of testing out new foods.  Now I haven't tried one of the high allergen food since Kason's first birthday- as far as I am concerned we will learn more about sesame and tree nuts from a test and not from the incredibly shitty task of watching your kid eat while you mentally take note of where your epi pen is.  

Because of Kason's milk challenge- I have to give him something cooked with milk daily.  I made a casserole with a cup of milk in it and cooked it.  After about 5 mins it became clear that I put too much milk in there and his face was really red.  Like REaLLY red with a few hives.  1/2 tsp of Claritin later (and some time and a bath) he was all good, but just like many many nights- I'll be checking in on him throughout the night.  

I'm getting sick of this- is that ok to say?  I want to give him something prepared at a store... Or even better, a restaurant!   I want to take a break from cooking, researching recipes, doing the never ending dishes and forcing him to eat things with milk!  Especially when he eats them and you can see in his face that he knows it isn't something that he should be eating.  

Kelly told me once that I was meant to have an allergy kid.  I am the kind of person who jumps in with two feet and will only do something 100%.  It's really a complement because it means we take such good care of this seemingly fragile guy( ps - he isn't, he is indestructible some days) but I wish that fate didn't create this situation for us some days.  Well- most days.  Ok- every day.

What a whiny suck I am today. Have I told you lately how much I love my kid?  Just the way he is..... :)